Dealing with a groomzilla

We’ve all heard of bridezilla. But grooms are just as particular about planning and executing the wedding days of their dreams, and why shouldn’t they be!

The aptly named ‘groomzilla’ may be less common and a lot less heard of than bridezilla, yet a groomzilla is just as difficult to handle.

In this blog post, we take a closer look at the stressed, wedding planning obsessed groomzilla and reveal just how to handle your husband-to-be’s groomzilla tendencies.

What makes a groomzilla?

The wedding planning process can be particularly stressful for all involved. Like a bridezilla, a groomzilla becomes so caught up in the organisation of their wedding and obsessed with achieving perfection on the big day itself that normal personality traits are replaced by rather dramatic behaviour. Even the most laid back groom can morph into a fully-fledged groomzilla whilst planning a wedding.

Groomzillas are becoming more and more common. An increasing number of men are stepping away from typical gender roles and taking on more responsibility during the wedding planning process.

There are many reasons why your fiancé might become a groomzilla. A survey published by Wedding Journal Online reported that organising the guest list was the biggest trigger for groomzillas.

The same research found picking music and choosing honeymoon destinations also pushed husbands-to-be into groomzilla territory.

How to spot a groomzilla

It is important to remember that planning a wedding is a joint effort and requires attention from you both to create the perfect day.

Your husband-to-be’s inability to compromise is the first sign of him becoming a groomzilla. Phoebe Green shares her story of groomzilla and now husband Shenton, and reveals the warning signs every bride-to-be should look out for:

“When Shenton proposed in December 2016 I couldn’t wait to start planning the wedding. We set the date for September 2019 to give us enough time to save for it and I expected Shenton would let me do everything.

But within a year, he took control of the purse strings and created different spreadsheets for everything. I’d always wanted a flower wall but he hated the idea. When I showed him an all-white bouncy castle he said it was too tacky and wasn’t allowed.”

Groomzillas may also demand more activities that focus on him for your big day. Cigar bars, dedicated groom’s cakes or whiskey tasting sessions are all common suggestions made by groomzillas.

Expecting perfection is another groomzilla trait. While we understand that every last detail counts when planning a wedding day, nothing can be completely perfect. Demanding perfection will only mean more pressure and less fun on the day itself.

Handling groomzilla behaviour

Your groomzilla will want you both to have a fabulous and unforgettable wedding day. Whilst groomzilla behaviour is certain to come from a good place, dealing with groomzilla tendencies early will ensure an enjoyable experience for all.

Maintain good communication between the both of you and plan your special day together. Make sure you are on the same page from the outset by starting your wedding planning journey with a brainstorming session. Devise and delegate wedding planning tasks, finalise the budget and make a wedding inspiration board that you are both happy with.

When groomzilla behaviour does creep back in or wedding planning gets too much, take time out to focus on what this is all about. You should also dedicate some of your week to spending some quality time together without any wedding talk at all.

Whatever stage of wedding planning you’re at, it’s important to remember that compromise is the key to satisfying both parties. Remind yourself that it’s not his day and it’s not your day, it’s our day.


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