I’m engaged, who should I tell first?

Congratulations on your engagement! As well as not being able to stop looking at your hand, you’re certain to have all sorts of thoughts running through your mind right about now.

Excitement, anticipation, and an eagerness to crack on with wedding planning are all common, and so too is an impatience to tell absolutely everyone your happy news.

For most couples, sharing their engagement news is the first port of call, but who exactly do you tell before you upload that ring selfie to social media?

Your children

If you or your partner are already proud parents, then your engagement will be big news to some little people too.

Telling your kids first should be a priority, especially if you have children from a previous relationship.

Becoming engaged means that your stepchildren are gaining a stepparent, and the dynamic of all involved households may change.

Your children or stepchildren will need time to process the news. Telling them first and delaying sharing the news with others, for the time being, will give them that thinking space.

It’ll also allow you all to have an honest conversation about the engagement and even provide an opportunity for the children to grill the grown-ups.

Your parents and in-laws

Next in line are your parents and fiancé’s parents. There are many ways to tell your parents you’re engaged, and you can be as creative or traditional as you like.

Choose a method to suit your personality and theirs. If your parents are a little old-fashioned, keep it simple with a chat over coffee or a candlelit meal.

Your brothers, sisters and close family

Your and your partner’s siblings should be the next people to know that you’re engaged. Many just engaged couples choose to tell their parents, siblings, grandparents and immediate family at the same time so they can celebrate the news together.

Again, your personal relationship with each family member will dictate the exact order that you share your engagement news.

Your BFFs

Your best friends will certainly want to know your big news before it goes public so schedule a girls’ night to tell them your announcement in person.

We’re sure they’ll already be keen to know what role they’ll be playing in your wedding party!

Everyone else

Your wider friendship circle and extended family may also prefer to hear the news from you, rather than via a social media post.

You don’t have to do it in person, a simple message to aunts, uncles, cousins and friends will be well received.

You may want to share your news face-to-face with your work friends too, as your ring probably won’t go unnoticed when you return to the office on Monday morning.

As relationship expert and author Andrea Syrtash recommends starting with a select few first is the best way forward in an office environment:

“Office news tends to spread, so if you don’t want people to share your update, let them know. When you do go big with the news, don’t send a group message that goes to the entire company. An office email may feel like a bit much. Does the tech guy really need to know you’re getting hitched?”

All that’s left to do is spread the word to everyone else you know, and that’s where social media comes in. Read our essential guide to how to share your engagement news with everyone from your nearest and dearest to the rest of the world!


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